I would recommend only one sticker chart going for a child at a time, to keep it simple. Which means choosing an area of growth that is a real sticking point in you and your child's day, and remembering we can't "fix" it all right away. For the first attempt at a sticker chart, choose a goal to meet that is NOT the biggest struggle in the house, so success can build on success. If bedtime is awful, then endure a bit longer and choose something a little easier for now.
Let's look at homework. Your young scholar is struggling to focus, put forth her best effort, finish, or even begin homework. She whines, she plays, she pouts, and homework is long and miserable.
1. Identify the target behavior. What do you want the situation to look like? In kindergarten, I would envision:
- Sitting down to a prepared homework space at a consistent time each evening.
- Working in two small focused chunks with a short break in between.
- Maximum focus and effort for a job well done.
- Minimal whining, complaining, and tears.
- Getting it DONE!
- Consistent homework time
- Prepared homework space. For younger scholars, I would encourage them to work in a public space, hoping that it can be at least sort of free from distraction. The kitchen table or coffee table are easily accessible and help you help your child stay on task. It is likely your child will need help reading the directions. Work with your child to put together a caddy or tub with all typical homework materials: crayons; pencils (and hand sharpener!); white paper; lined paper; perhaps scissors, glue, and ruler; a timer, and most importantly, the sticker chart and stickers.
3. Choose, perhaps with the help of your child, the TWO target behaviors that will make things run smoother during homework time. If my child is a perfectionist or easily distracted and homework takes twice as long as it should, I might choose a time component. If my child's whining and crying prevents anyone in the house from settling in for the evening, I might choose "a good attitude." If my child is super speedy and sloppy as a result, I might choose neatness and accuracy.
4. Timeframe: youngsters cannot grasp time in the long-term the way older children and adults can. A week is a long time! A month is almost inconceivable! A year is beyond comprehension!
5. Prizes and rewards: one of the most frustrating things to hear from a child is "my dad said if I stay on green all year, he will buy me a $300 Star Wars LEGO set!" There are multiple problems with this: the timeframe is too long, the reward is too high-stakes, and the goal ("perfect" behavior!?) is impossible to reach.
The trick is to track several timeframes, goals, and rewards at once: each night is a new opportunity to earn stickers, a good week results in a small reward, and a good month results in a slightly bigger one.
6. How to earn stickers: each night your young scholar gets the opportunity to earn TWO stickers. This allows for some wiggle room. If she's having a terrible night and things are just taking TOO LONG, then she can still earn a sticker for neatness. Or, conversely, she's got a stinky attitude, but she gets it done on time, she still earns a sticker. Two stickers lowers the stakes. If a child enters a challenge feeling defeated already, she will not be doing her best. The praise, compliments, comments on growth are the most important reward, and a sticker is just a visual reminder.
Each week, a child might be able to earn ten stickers for five nights of homework. Set a 60% or higher goal for the week to call it a "good" week (adjust as necessary for your household and child). If she earns six or more stickers, she gets a small reward: she gets to pick the game to play at family time, she gets to pick the show you all watch together, she gets ten extra minutes of screen time, she gets to pick out a small treat or prize at a store when you are running errands. This is why the dollar store was invented. It should be 1) something you can live with, 2) perhaps something she would have gotten to do anyway, 3) something that if she doesn't get it, it won't ruin her week.
If your child has a "good" month, let her choose a slightly bigger reward: pick what to have for dinner or dessert, go see a movie as a family, pieces to a LEGO set,* a new outfit for Barbie, a new Hot Wheels car, etc. Again it should be 1) something you can live with, 2) perhaps something she would have gotten to do anyway, 3) something that if she doesn't get it, it won't ruin her week. We did a one-on-one ice cream date with a chosen parent at the end of a successful sticker chart.
Bonus spot: did your child have a stellar evening of homework that makes you wonder if you picked up the right kid after school? That's for a bonus sticker. If your child is consistently filling the bonus spot, that means it's time to increase your expectations. Be sure to clearly explain WHAT your child did to earn that bonus, so she can keep doing it!
7. What happens if she doesn't earn a sticker!? Be matter-of-fact and remind her that she has many more chances. If she's able to listen to feedback, let her know what happened to result in her not earning a sticker. Or, better yet, have her verbalize why she thinks she didn't earn one. Focus on the positive as much as possible. If she didn't earn either sticker, it's probably time to pack it up and go to bed anyway!
*LEGO can be a big motivator: if this is what drives your child, don't give the whole set as a reward, put pieces in a jar when you see a target behavior, and once all the pieces are in there, give her the instruction book and the jar. It could even be an exciting mystery to try to figure out what the set is based on the pieces as they get put in the jar.
