Below are some homework helpers, guidelines,
suggestions, etc. I may or may not entirely agree with ALL suggestions,
but I may agree with MOST suggestions. Take what you can and leave the
rest. :)
How to Say It: Homework Hassles (from Family Education, which I use as a resource for both teaching and parenting).
This one, I'm unabashedly copying and pasting, because they have awful autoplay ads on their website:
"The Ten Best Things to Say to Your Child During Homework Time" by Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller
Homework can be a battle or a breeze. It can create conflict or
cooperation. It can produce tension or focused attention. Which of these
outcomes occurs in your home depends in great measure on how you talk
to your children during that important time period. To help your child's
homework experience be productive and stress free, consider the
following ten best things to say to him or her during homework time.
1. "It's study time." Don't even mention the word
"homework." Have a study time, a study table, and study materials. Study
time occurs whether there is homework or not. This eliminates the
common child response, "But I don't have any homework." Some parents
prefer to call this time period feed the brain time. Whether you call it
study time or feed the brain time, it is important to make this a
family commitment. We all feed our brains during this time. If you are
not willing to make this commitment as a parent to feed your own brain
during this important family time, don't ask your child to.
2. "Let me know if you want my help." Refrain from
giving unsolicited help. Help that is not asked for is resented and is
often not even needed. Give your child the space to ask for help if he
needs it. Learning to ask for help is an important skill that every
child needs to learn. So is struggling on your own for a while.
3. "Act as if you know." Children will often tell you,
"I don't know how to do it." Resist showing them right away. They are
doing their "I can't" act. Know that it is an act. Encourage them to
choose a different act by saying, "Act as if you can." Other ways to
send the same message include: "Pretend like you know how." "Play like
you know." "If you did know how to begin, how would you begin?" "If you
did know what to write, what would you write?" Asking children to "act
as if" does not mean they will do it correctly. It gets them started. It
gets them doing something. You can correct incorrect doing. Not doing
anything is impossible to correct.
4. "You have a lot of assignments to do here. Which two do you think are the most important?"
Do not let your children study for long periods of time. Family time is
MORE important than study time. When the teachers give more than is
doable in the study time you have structured (90 minutes for high
school, 60 minutes for middle school, 30 minutes for elementary school),
call the teachers and let them know they are assigning too much
material. Ask your child, "Which two of your assignments do you think
are most important?" This requires her to think and to set priorities,
teaching her a valuable life skill in the process.
5. "Study time is over." Pushing beyond the set study
time creates diminished results. Set a limit and stick to it. Hold to
the set time schedule for study time.
6. "It's time for a time out." Frustration may occur.
Suggest your child take a time out if you see her becoming overstressed.
Shoot some baskets, ride bikes, go for a walk. Get away from the
schoolwork for a while. When she comes back to study time, she will
bring a fresh mind and a fresh attitude.
7. Use descriptive praise. Refrain from making
evaluative comments such as "good job" or "excellent paper." These
global remarks do little to teach why the effort was good or excellent.
Instead, make your praise descriptive. Simply describe. "I can read
every word." "This sentence got my attention and I wanted to keep
reading." "You stayed right on it and finished that section in ten
minutes." These factual statements give valuable
information. Descriptive praise also allows the child to make the
evaluation. When he says to himself, "I did a good job," the evaluation
is coming from the inside out.
8. "Do you want me to check it?" Sometimes children want your checking help. Sometimes they do not. Let them make this decision.
9. "Let me show you an example." This is teaching, not
doing it for them. Show your child a sample, example, or possibility.
Allow her to decide how to apply your idea. Let her do the problems she
was assigned.
10. "Would you be willing to put your name on it?" This
statement is not used to check whether your son or daughter remembered
to put their name on the paper. It is a statement about the relationship
between pride and effort. "Would you be willing to put your name on
it?" really means, "Are you proud enough of it to sign it?" Help your
children learn to develop an internal standard of excellence so they
know how this piece of work stacks up against their personal standard.
Your Parent Talk around study time and school assignments is critical.
It can help or hinder, motivate or discourage, inspire or wound. Use the
statements above to help you create a helpful study time for all. In
fact, why not study these suggestions and put them to use during your
next family feed the brain time?
